Divorce and custody arrangements can be hard on everyone—but especially for children. No matter their age, children are deeply affected by changes in their family structure. As a parent in Florida, it’s essential to help your child understand what’s happening in a way that protects their emotional well-being, while also complying with legal guidance and parenting plan requirements.
Why Age Matters When Talking About Divorce
Children process divorce differently depending on their developmental stage. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics and other child development experts, toddlers may feel confused and clingy, while school-age children might express anger or blame themselves. Teens often struggle with loyalty issues and may act out or withdraw.
The Florida Supreme Court’s “Families in Transition” program and parenting course materials emphasize the importance of tailoring conversations to your child’s age and maturity level. These mandatory courses, required under Florida Statute §61.21 for divorcing parents, offer tools to help parents support their children through the transition (Florida Statutes §61.21).
Using Simple, Honest Language
It’s best to explain things in truthful but reassuring terms. Avoid blaming the other parent or sharing legal details. For example, instead of saying, “Your dad is taking me to court,” say, “We’re working with people who help families make decisions so you can spend time with both of us.” Keeping the language neutral helps reduce anxiety and avoid putting children in the middle of conflict.
The Florida Courts’ Parenting Plan Guidelines recommend both parents give consistent, age-appropriate explanations to help children feel safe and secure (Florida Courts Parenting Plans].
Helping Kids Cope with Emotional Reactions
It’s normal for children to experience sadness, confusion, anger, or fear. Young children may regress—showing behaviors like bedwetting or clinginess. Older children may act out at school or withdraw socially. As a parent, validating their feelings without overwhelming them is crucial.
Florida’s family court resources, like the “Children and Divorce” guide provided by local legal aid organizations, encourage routine, structure, and reassurance as foundational supports during this time. You can also use child-friendly books, therapy, and support groups tailored to children of divorce. Some Florida counties even offer child-focused programs or court-approved counseling referrals. Check with your local family court or FloridaLawHelp.org for low-cost or sliding-scale support options.
Discussing Custody and Time-Sharing
Under Florida law, the term “custody” has been replaced with “time-sharing” and “parental responsibility” (Florida Statutes §61.13). Children don’t need to know these legal terms, but they will want to know where they’ll sleep, when they’ll see each parent, and whether everyday routines (like school or sports) will change.
Try using visuals like calendars to show upcoming time-sharing schedules. You can even involve older children in discussions about routines, while being careful not to make them feel like they’re choosing between parents. Remember, final decisions are made by the court—not the child—but giving children a sense of stability helps reduce stress.
Keeping Communication Open and Ongoing
One conversation isn’t enough. Children often need to revisit their questions or feelings multiple times. Make space for regular check-ins. Encourage them to express themselves, even if they’re upset. Your job is to listen without judgment, reassure them of both parents’ love, and keep things as stable as possible.
The Florida Courts encourage parents to use parenting plans that allow for flexibility and clarity, which can prevent future misunderstandings or conflict (Florida Courts Family Law Forms).
When to Seek Professional Help
Sometimes, children may need more than parental support. If you notice signs of depression, anxiety, school struggles, or major behavioral changes, it may be time to involve a therapist or child counselor. Florida’s Department of Children and Families (DCF) maintains a list of licensed providers and local community mental health centers that offer services on a sliding scale (Florida DCF Services Locator).
Final Thoughts
Divorce and custody transitions are challenging, but with love, patience, and the right support, children can come through stronger. Be open, consistent, and respectful in how you communicate. Use age-appropriate language and court-approved tools to make your child feel seen, heard, and safe.
You don’t have to be perfect—but your child needs to know they are loved, supported, and not to blame. The way you guide them through these changes will shape their ability to trust and cope in the future.
Let your parenting plan be more than a legal document—let it be a guide for raising a secure, emotionally healthy child, no matter the changes in your family structure.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. For help with a specific situation, consult a licensed attorney or your local legal aid organization. While this post includes references to Florida law and court resources, individual cases may vary, and readers are encouraged to verify all legal procedures through official sources such as the Florida Courts website or Florida Statutes.
