Divorce is hard. Representing yourself through it can feel nearly impossible—especially when you’re facing courtrooms, confusing paperwork, and emotional exhaustion all at once. If you’re a self-represented litigant in Florida, it’s likely not because you wanted to go it alone, but because hiring an attorney simply isn’t affordable or within reach. You’re not alone. Florida has one of the highest rates of self-representation in the country when it comes to family law, especially in divorce and custody cases. According to the Florida Commission on Access to Civil Justice, more than 60% of family law litigants represent themselves at some stage in their case.
Unfortunately, our legal system wasn’t designed with non-lawyers in mind. Many self-represented parents quickly discover that navigating the divorce process means dealing with complicated forms, legal jargon, filing deadlines, and court hearings where you’re expected to follow the same rules as an attorney would. Without guidance, this experience can become overwhelming, disorienting, and deeply discouraging.
But here’s the truth: you can get through this—and you don’t have to lose yourself in the process.
One of the first and most important things you can do is learn to manage your expectations. The Florida court system offers self-help tools like the Florida Courts Self-Help Center, but these resources, while helpful, cannot walk you through every decision. You’re going to hit moments where you feel stuck, confused, or deeply frustrated. Acknowledging that this is part of the process—not a failure on your part—can ease the pressure you put on yourself to have all the answers. You are learning a system that even trained professionals take years to understand.
It’s also essential to take steps to protect your emotional energy. Self-representation often requires long nights researching rules or preparing court documents while also working, parenting, and emotionally processing a major life change. This is a fast track to burnout if you’re not careful. Burnout shows up as mental fatigue, forgetfulness, irritability, or even the urge to give up altogether. The National Institute of Mental Health emphasizes that when we ignore stress for too long, it can erode our focus, our physical health, and our relationships. To stay grounded, you must give yourself permission to rest without guilt. Not everything has to be done today.
Many parents benefit from creating a simple weekly routine that includes designated time for legal tasks, parenting, and self-care. For example, you might commit to working on forms or preparing for hearings just two nights a week—never more. Protect your weekends or evenings for activities that bring relief or connection. Even something small, like a walk in your neighborhood, journaling, or having a phone call with a supportive friend, can make a meaningful difference in your mindset.
Practicing mindfulness techniques—like breathing exercises or short meditations—has also proven to help regulate the stress response. According to the Mayo Clinic, meditation can lower cortisol levels and promote a sense of calm, even during high-pressure periods. These techniques don’t have to be long or complex. Even three minutes of quiet breathing before you open a court notice can help ground you and improve your focus.
Support systems are especially vital during self-representation. While you may not have legal representation, that doesn’t mean you have to go through this alone. Consider reaching out to local legal aid organizations or community legal clinics. Many in Florida offer free or low-cost assistance for document review, procedural questions, or guidance with court forms. Start by checking FloridaLawHelp.org, a statewide directory of legal resources for people with low income.
It’s also okay to admit when you’re struggling emotionally. Divorce is one of the most stressful life events a person can experience, and doing it while parenting and managing court on your own increases that load significantly. If you find yourself feeling hopeless, constantly anxious, or unable to sleep or function normally, talk to a mental health professional. Florida residents can connect with licensed counselors through community mental health centers or access low-cost therapy options through programs like Open Path Collective.
Self-represented litigants often experience a deep sense of isolation, especially when the opposing party has a lawyer. You might question your ability, your strength, or even your worth. But it’s important to recognize that showing up, doing your best, and staying committed to your child’s future is courageous. Every step you take—whether it’s filing your first form or standing up in court for what’s right—proves your dedication. You don’t have to do it perfectly. You just have to keep going.
Disclaimer: This article is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Florida family law is complex and fact-specific. If you are involved in a legal dispute or considering a parenting plan, consult a licensed Florida family law attorney or an accredited legal aid organization. This content does not establish an attorney-client relationship and should not be relied upon as a substitute for formal legal counsel.
